Episode [506] - Shower Thoughts - August 27, 2026

Rejoice, All Family, for the Big Dog is back.

Participants

• Ian Karmel: plugging the AFE 10 year anniversary show at the Aladdin Theater in Portland on September 26th, went on a tangent about whether Marc Maron knew "lock the gates on these fuckheads" from Almost Famous would become quotable
• Sean Jordan: headlining a night of the Motor City Comedy Festival in Detroit on September 17th, playing the AFE anniversary show September 26th, confessed to sneaking a day old Taco Bell double-decker out of a dumpster-- in shame.
• David Gborie: no new dates, plugging his podcast Mom Told Me with Langston, staying in shape so he doesn't have to get in shape
• Blair Socci (guest, @blairsocci): dates in San Francisco September 4th, Cincinnati's Commonwealth Comedy Club September 11th and 12th, San Diego September 16th, and Raleigh, North Carolina November 5th through 7th, plugging her podcast Spaced Out, told a story about getting cornered on a boat by a guy she'd just been overheard badmouthing for cheating on his wife

Winner of Rock Paper Scissors: David (after two throws that didn't count)

Draft Order: David, Blair, Ian, Sean

Serpentine Explanation:  Its like a needle on a lie detector test.

Round 1

Pick 1.1 | David Gborie | Fake conversations with people you know

Pick 1.2 | Blair Socci | Whether to shave her toe hair

Pick 1.3 | Ian Karmel | Whatever video game he's playing at that moment

Pick 1.4 | Sean Jordan | Whether he's actually going to wash his feet today

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | Sean Jordan | How cool it looks that all his body hair flows the same direction

Pick 2.2 | Ian Karmel | Why hippos are considered cute when they're so dangerous

Pick 2.3 | Blair Socci | The psychic who predicted first alien contact during the World Cup

Pick 2.4 | David Gborie | YouTube comments

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | David Gborie | Elementary school

Pick 3.2 | Blair Socci | Earthquakes

Pick 3.3 | Ian Karmel | Whether his house is sitting on a deposit of rare earth minerals

Pick 3.4 | Sean Jordan | Whether today is the day he discovers he can actually sing or freestyle

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | Sean Jordan | Whether the towel he's about to use is too dirty

Pick 4.2 | Ian Karmel | How they pick who becomes a ghost

Pick 4.3 | Blair Socci | Why it's impossible to shave her own asshole

Pick 4.4 | David Gborie | Stand-up comedy

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | David Gborie | Whether his muscles are getting bigger

Pick 5.2 | Blair Socci | Whatever happened to the guy from the boat

Pick 5.3 | Ian Karmel | What other animals humans could have ended up riding

Pick 5.4 | Sean Jordan | Whether his amount of eye floaters is normal

Producer's Pick

That line from Sherlock where Moiriatty says, "because that's what people do!"

Quotes From This Episode

• "I ate it by the dumpster and I was like, don't tell him." - Sean Jordan, on hiding a day old Taco Bell double-decker from a friend
• "I'm boycotting Panda Express until the Blazers thing gets worked out." - Ian Karmel
• "Men would fuck a door." - Blair Socci
• "My skin doesn't die. My skin multiplies." - Ian Karmel
• "I'm nasty. That's the truth." - David Gborie
• "I stay up and I just look at the Frodo toes." - Blair Socci, on her toe hair pick

Episode [505] - Recess - August 20, 2026

Who ate all the pussy?

Participants

• Ian Karmel: plugging the AFE 10 year anniversary show at the Aladdin Theater in Portland on September 26th, planning free livestreams with David during Sean's Midwest run, bringing Binaca breath spray back
• Sean Jordan: playing Comedy Corner Underground in Minneapolis August 23rd, the Lincoln Lodge in Chicago September 17th, headlining a night of the Motor City Comedy Festival in Detroit, and the AFE anniversary show September 26th, went to the mat defending South Dakota as solidly Midwest
• David Gborie: no new dates, also doing the free livestreams with Ian during Sean's shows.

Winner of Rock Paper Scissors: Sean

Draft Order: David, Sean, Ian

Serpentine Explanation: Sean skipped the explanation entirely this time and just read off the order.

Round 1

Pick 1.1 | David Gborie | Settling scores

Pick 1.2 | Sean Jordan | Four square

Pick 1.3 | Ian Karmel | Seeing the girl you have a crush on

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | Ian Karmel | Swings

Pick 2.2 | Sean Jordan | Kickball

Pick 2.3 | David Gborie | Rain

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | David Gborie | Tetherball

Pick 3.2 | Sean Jordan | King of the Hill on a snow mountain

Pick 3.3 | Ian Karmel | Staying in and playing a computer game

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | Ian Karmel | Football

Pick 4.2 | Sean Jordan | Tag

Pick 4.3 | David Gborie | Going out of bounds

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | David Gborie | Romance

Pick 5.2 | Sean Jordan | Finding snakes

Pick 5.3 | Ian Karmel | Wall ball

Producer's Pick

Isaac | Basketball, even though he admitted he didn't actually play it until middle school

Quotes From This Episode

• "Banaka really will set you back." - David Gborie, on the discontinued breath spray
• "I'd go to an adult four square league, probably." - Sean Jordan, on his first pick
• "I put a fake snake in her desk." - Ian Karmel, on an elementary school crush
• "I don't need to be given anything, firmly in the Midwest." - Sean Jordan, defending South Dakota
• "We had ASS. I swear to God, it was ASS." - David Gborie, on after school suspension
• "I would just kick the ball with most of my friends." - Isaac, on his producer pick

Episode [504] - Italians - August 13, 2026

 The podcast whose mom is from Argentina and dad is from Italy.

Participants

• Ian Karmel: on the Tom Cruise cake list (the personal one, not just the office one), plugging the AFE 10 year anniversary show at the Aladdin Theater in Portland on September 26th
• Sean Jordan: wore Sergio Tacchini in honor of the guest, playing Sports Drink in New Orleans August 15th, Comedy Corner Underground in Minneapolis August 21st or 22nd, Lincoln Lodge in Chicago August 23rd, Motor City Comedy Festival in Detroit September 17th, and the AFE 10 year anniversary show September 26th
• David Gborie: no stand up dates on the books right now, doing shows locally in LA for the time being, wearing a red hat gifted to him by an artist after a show
• Albertina Rizzo (guest, @albzrizz): mom is from Argentina, dad was born in Italy, executive producer and showrunner of the Muppets holiday special with Sabrina Carpenter and Seth Rogen, had nothing to promote

Draft Order: Albertina, David, Sean, Ian

Serpentine Explanation: Sean skipped his usual bit this time. Albertina filled in with the plain version: front to back, back to front.

Round 1

Pick 1.1 | Albertina Rizzo | Martin Scorsese

Pick 1.2 | David Gborie | Leonardo da Vinci

Pick 1.3 | Sean Jordan | Robert De Niro

Pick 1.4 | Ian Karmel | Frank Sinatra

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | Ian Karmel | Galileo Galilei

Pick 2.2 | Sean Jordan | Lady Gaga (Stephanie Germanotta)

Pick 2.3 | David Gborie | Miuccia Prada

Pick 2.4 | Albertina Rizzo | Madonna

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | Albertina Rizzo | Alan Alda

Pick 3.2 | David Gborie | Stanley Tucci

Pick 3.3 | Sean Jordan | Luciano Pavarotti

Pick 3.4 | Ian Karmel | Artemisia Gentileschi

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | Ian Karmel | Quentin Tarantino

Pick 4.2 | Sean Jordan | Giovanni Ribisi

Pick 4.3 | David Gborie | Rocky Balboa

Pick 4.4 | Albertina Rizzo | Argentinians (drafted as a group)

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | Albertina Rizzo | Bruce Springsteen and the E Street Band ("minus the drummer")

Pick 5.2 | David Gborie | Sylvester Stallone

Pick 5.3 | Sean Jordan | Antonio Margheriti

Pick 5.4 | Ian Karmel | Antonio Vivaldi

Producer's Pick

Isaac | Ferrari, referencing the Ferrari sneakers he was wearing during the episode

Honorable Mentions: Charles Ponzi; the Jacuzzi family; John Cazale; Isabella Rossellini; Kelly Ripa. Dan Brown was also mentioned earlier as being on Ian's list but wasn't ultimately drafted.

Quotes From This Episode

• "My mom's from Argentina. My dad was born in Italy." - Albertina Rizzo
• "No one tells a better story than that man." - Albertina Rizzo, on drafting Martin Scorsese
• "He's like the reason we say Renaissance man." - David Gborie, on drafting Leonardo da Vinci
• "I got to do it for my family." - Ian Karmel, on drafting Frank Sinatra

Episode [498] - Places to People-Watch - July 2, 2026

The podcast that's on Ticketmaster buying Blazers playoff tickets for a game that starts in about 27 hours.

Participants

• Ian Karmel: hosting a new World Cup companion show on Fox with James Corden and Rio Ferdinand, plugging the AFE 10 year anniversary show in Portland on September 26th, banned shots at his own wedding
• Sean Jordan: playing Sports Drink in New Orleans in August, headlining Detroit in September, plus two nights in Royal Oak, Michigan and a run at Cobb's in San Francisco December 4th and 5th, both with Kyle Kinane, admitted he secretly always wanted to be shorter as a teenage skater
• David Gborie: nothing to plug this week, told people to watch Ian's World Cup show and come to the Portland anniversary show, confessed he still gets visibly furious at bowling alleys as an adult

Draft Order: Ian, David, Sean

Serpentine Explanation: Ian won the rock paper scissors for the first time ever on the show, and explained the format himself using a hot dogs on a grill analogy (first person goes, work down the line, last person goes twice, then it comes back around).

Round 1

Pick 1.1 | Ian Karmel | Airport

Pick 1.2 | David Gborie | Bowling alley

Pick 1.3 | Sean Jordan | Bar

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | Sean Jordan | Traffic

Pick 2.2 | David Gborie | Food court at the mall

Pick 2.3 | Ian Karmel | Outside near a concert you don't listen to

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | Ian Karmel | Casting room

Pick 3.2 | David Gborie | Children's sporting event

Pick 3.3 | Sean Jordan | Weddings

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | Sean Jordan | The bus

Pick 4.2 | David Gborie | Right after a fight

Pick 4.3 | Ian Karmel | The beach

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | Ian Karmel | Art museum

Pick 5.2 | David Gborie | Target after 6 p.m. during the week

Pick 5.3 | Sean Jordan | Casino

Producer's Pick

Isaac | Coffee shop

Quotes From This Episode

• "I wanted to get a goddamn strike and I wanted to curve the ball." - David Gborie, on his own bowling alley meltdowns
• "If you're together at Target after 6 p.m., you're fucking raw." - David Gborie, quoting a friend's Target wisdom
• "I don't want that new shit at the beach." - Sean Jordan, on beach music etiquette
• "We're looking to sponsor a dad." - Ian Karmel, riffing on kids' sporting events
• "This was all brown when we met." - Ian Karmel, razzing David's graying hair

Episode [497] - Pop Princesses- June 25, 2026

The podcast that's freaky-freaky-fresh. 

Participants

• Ian Karmel: plugging the AFE 10 year anniversary show at the Aladdin Theater in Portland on September 26th, also teased a new World Cup show he's doing with James Corden and Rio Ferdinand
• Sean Jordan: playing Sports Drink in New Orleans in August (exact date TBD) and headlining the Motor City Comedy Festival in Detroit on September 16th, though he'll be missing part of it since he's honeymooning in Tahiti
• David Gborie: no stand up dates, said he's lying low ahead of his upcoming wedding
• Sophie Buddle (guest, @sophbuds): playing Portland August 7th and 8th (her birthday weekend) and Indianapolis August 14th and 15th, joked that getting a nose job in June is really what she should be plugging

Draft Order: David, Sophie, Ian, Sean

Serpentine Explanation: "Catan style." 

Round 1

Pick 1.1 | David | Madonna

Pick 1.2 | Sophie Buddle | Mariah Carey

Pick 1.3 | Ian Karmel |  Britney Spears

Pick 1.4 | Sean Jordan | Christina Aguilera

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | Sean Jordan | Sabrina Carpenter

Pick 2.2 | Ian Karmel | Ariana Grande

Pick 2.3 | Sophie Buddle | Beyoncé

Pick 2.4 | David | Selena

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | David | Brandy

Pick 3.2 | Sophie Buddle | Rihanna

Pick 3.3 | Ian Karmel | Taylor Swift

Pick 3.4 | Sean Jordan | Selena Gomez

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | Sean Jordan | Avril Lavigne

Pick 4.2 | Ian Karmel | Katy Perry

Pick 4.3 | Sophie Buddle | Billie Eilish

Pick 4.4 | David | Whitney Houston

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | David | Shirley Temple

Pick 5.2 | Sophie Buddle | Hilary Duff

Pick 5.3 | Ian Karmel | Chappell Roan (after floating Ella Fitzgerald, which the group ruled out)

Pick 5.4 | Sean Jordan | Dua Lipa (after floating Haley Williams, which the group ruled out since she's in a band, not a solo pop princess)

Producer's Pick

Isaac | Olivia Rodrigo

Honorable Mentions: Adele came up explicitly as an "honorable mention," with the group debating whether her lack of dancing makes her more of a balladeer than a true pop princess. In the closing rundown of names people were surprised didn't get drafted: Miley Cyrus, Lady Gaga, Charli XCX (raised as a maybe), Shakira, and Kelly Clarkson.

Quotes From This Episode

• "I'm about 20 years clean of vacation braids." - Sean Jordan, on copying Christina Aguilera's look as a kid
• "My blood pressure is going up over here." - David, on learning new Selena trivia mid-draft
• "I'm thinking of Betty Boop." - Ian Karmel, mixing up Shirley Temple with a cartoon character
• "It's provocative, and that's all that matters." - Sophie Buddle, on Rihanna stealing wine glasses from restaurants

Episode [496]- Food Scenes in Movies- June 18, 2026

The podcast if you know about it, you know about it. If you don't, look it up and then prepare to eat a sandwich.

Participants

• Ian Karmel: hosting Fox World Cup postgame shows with Rio Ferdinand and James Corden, spilled a club soda on his laptop on a flight, still hasn't bought a grill after eight years of promising he will
• Sean Jordan: playing Sports Drink in August, performing at the Aladdin Theater September 26th for the AFE 10-year anniversary show, still no grill, but a leather apron.
• David Gborie: getting married this summer, laying low, wearing orange shoes and matching hat, new to driving and already road raging
• Noah Galutin: chef, author, cookbook author, co-founder of Blood's Barbecue, new grilling cookbook Grill Time out now, father of children whose palates he is about to abandon to Dorito nachos for the summer

Draft Order David wins Rock, Paper, Scissors. Sean and Ian both threw a potato, which David cut. \

Seprtine Explaination: it's like when you had Bo Jackson in Tecmo Bowl and you just ran up and down the screen because nobody could catch you. 

Draft Order: David, Sean, Ian, Noah.

Round 1

Pick 1.1 | David Gborie | The imagination food scene, Hook 

Pick 1.2 | Sean Jordan | The Billy Bats late-night dinner at Scorsese's mom's house, Goodfellas 

Pick 1.3 | Ian Karmel | The fried egg sandwich, Spanglish 

Pick 1.4 | Noah Galutin | The Big Kahuna Burger scene, Pulp Fiction

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | Noah Galutin | The poison mushroom omelette, Phantom Thread 

Pick 2.2 | Ian Karmel | The entire candy room, Willy Wonka and the Chocolate Factory 

Pick 2.3 | Sean Jordan | The What About Bob patio dinner scene, What About Bob 

Pick 2.4 | David Gborie | Rocky drinking raw eggs, Rocky

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | David Gborie | The Chinese dinner, A Christmas Story 

Pick 3.2 | Sean Jordan | The Wedding Crashers breakfast spread, Wedding Crashers 

Pick 3.3 | Ian Karmel | The fake orgasm at Katz's Delicatessen, When Harry Met Sally 

Pick 3.4 | Noah Galutin | Travis Bickle's white bread, milk, sugar, and peach brandy, Taxi Driver

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | Noah Galutin | Julie Christie's four fried eggs, stew, and strong tea / Warren Beatty's whiskey and raw egg, McCabe and Mrs. Miller 

Pick 4.2 | Ian Karmel | The Great Hall feasts, Harry Potter 

Pick 4.3 | Sean Jordan | Kevin McAllister's ice cream sundae spread, Home Alone 

Pick 4.4 | David Gborie | The Klump family dinner, The Nutty Professor

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | David Gborie | The Chinese food and champagne opening scene, Paid in Full 

Pick 5.2 | Sean Jordan | The prison toast and cornbread scene, Life 

Pick 5.3 | Ian Karmel | The silent frittata scene, Big Night 

Pick 5.4 | Noah Galutin | The ham ramen scene, Ponyo

Producer's Pick Isaac Lee | The Fool's Gold sandwich finale, The F-Word (What If)

Quotes From This Episode

• "I put my list together based on how delicious the food looked. I'm just throwing that gauntlet right now." — Ian Karmel
• "That exact meal got me through some tough times. Absolutely. Fried egg sandwiches hit so hard." — Noah Galutin
• "I eat food, but I'm not like a food guy. It's all good unless it's seafood. My man likes to stay dry and hungry." — David Gborie, on Sean
• "When a Jew loudly disagrees with you, that's not bullying. That's me sharing my culture with you. Ten years in, I need to lay that out." — Ian Karmel
• "That scene in the Nutty Professor, I was like, I don't think anything funnier than this will ever happen again. But as a fat kid, it was like watching a shark swim towards you and you can't help but laugh at the shark." — David Gborie
• "Don't buy my book. Have my wife leave me with the kids. Book me an apartment in New York. Within three weeks, the Travis Bickle version might be on the table." — Noah Galutin

Episode [495] - Little Guys - June 11, 2026

The podcast that supports guys of all sizes.

Episode Tagline: The podcast that fantasy drafts anything and everything from the world of popular culture.

Participants

• Ian Karmel: catch him on Fox on the World Cup after show alongside James Corden and Rio Ferdinand, AFE ten year anniversary at the Aladdin Theater in Portland on September 26 (second late show added)
• Sean Jordan: playing the Sports Drink in New Orleans in August, AFE ten year anniversary show in Portland
• David Gborie:  check the video feed for his outfits, recently survived an alligator reserve in New Orleans run by a guy missing part of a finger
• Jamie Loftus (guest): Jamie Cries Superstar on socials, author of "Raw Dog: The Naked Truth About Hot Dogs" (out now), a new novel about an objectum sexual architect who falls for her own blueprint (potentially available for pre-order), co-host of the Bechdel Cast every Tuesday, also hitting ten years with a tour at the end of the year

Draft Order

This week's winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors is David, paper against two scissors, an odd man out victory in the three way throw.

David sets the serpentine order as David, Jamie, Ian, Sean, after the traditional and completely doomed attempt to explain what serpentine means by way of a menorah.

Round 1

Pick 1.1 | David Gborie | Punch (the bullied Japanese macaque with the stuffed orangutan, Chikawa City Zoo, Japan)

Pick 1.2 | Jamie Loftus | The Minions, specifically Kevin, but all of them (Despicable Me)

Pick 1.3 | Ian Karmel | Arthur Karmel (his 16 month old son, a certified little guy who knows the word "purple")

Pick 1.4 | Sean Jordan | The lone onion ring hiding in the fries

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | Sean Jordan | The pinky toenail

Pick 2.2 | Ian Karmel | Prince

Pick 2.3 | Jamie Loftus | Pee-Wee Herman

Pick 2.4 | David Gborie | Danny DeVito

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | David Gborie | Jerry (Tom and Jerry)

Pick 3.2 | Jamie Loftus | Babu Frik (Star Wars)

Pick 3.3 | Ian Karmel | Mini corn dogs

Pick 3.4 | Sean Jordan | Woolly Bear Caterpillars

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | Sean Jordan | Cotton Hill (King of the Hill)

Pick 4.2 | Ian Karmel | Martin Scorsese

Pick 4.3 | Jamie Loftus | Michigan J. Frog (Looney Tunes)

Pick 4.4 | David Gborie | Michelle Tanner (Full House)

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | David Gborie | The Bill (Schoolhouse Rock)

Pick 5.2 | Jamie Loftus | The Purple M&M

Pick 5.3 | Ian Karmel | Muggsy Bogues

Pick 5.4 | Sean Jordan | Meerkats

Producer's Pick

Isaac Lee | Lionel Messi

Quotes From This Episode

• "A little guy doesn't even need to necessarily be human." Ian Karmel (arriving at the thesis that opens the whole draft)
• "I don't read a lot, never been much of a reader." Sean Jordan 
• "I made it sound like we had made a lot of money on Twitch." Jamie Loftus (on the cover story she used to tour Pee-Wee Herman's house)
• "Flawless. How about Flawmore?" Jamie Loftus (on the purple M&M's catchphrase)
• "I don't get tired of his Jersey Mike's commercials." David Gborie (making the case for Danny DeVito)