Episode [493] - Sexy Cartoon Characters- May 28, 2026

 The podcast that licks it lips like LL Cool J

Episode Tagline: The podcast that fantasy drafts anything and everything from the world of popular culture.

Participants

• Ian Karmel: nothing to promote, keep an eye out for something to watch him on, twirling on Dancing with the Stars apparently
• Sean Jordan: September 26th at the Aladdin Theater in Portland for the All Fantasy Everything year anniversary show, ten years of cold beers
• David Gborie: watch his Don't Tell special, venmo him $10 for his May 5th birthday, aspiring strip club DJ (Thursday nights, vinyl, 6 to 10)
• Langston Kerman: @LangstonKerman on all social media platforms, Aspiring Deadbeat Tour dates coming this fall

Draft Order 

This week's winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors is Langston, rock against two papers — an odd man out victory. 

 "It's like David looking for a parking spot earlier — just kind of back and forth down the side street." Langston sets the order as Langston, Ian, Sean, David

Round 1

Pick 1.1 | Langston Kerman | Nani (Lilo & Stitch) 

Pick 1.2 | Ian Karmel | Jessica Rabbit (Who Framed Roger Rabbit) 

Pick 1.3 | Sean Jordan | April O'Neill (Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles) 

Pick 1.4 | David Gborie | Carmen San Diego (Where in the World is Carmen San Diego?)

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | David Gborie | Li Shang (Mulan) 

Pick 2.2 | Sean Jordan | Tarzan (Tarzan) 

Pick 2.3 | Ian Karmel | Elastigirl/Mrs. Incredible (The Incredibles) 

Pick 2.4 | Langston Kerman | Penelope Pussycat (Looney Tunes)

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | Langston Kerman | Princess Fiona — Ogre Style (Shrek) 

Pick 3.2 | Ian Karmel | Robin Hood (Robin Hood) 

Pick 3.3 | Sean Jordan | Luann Platter (King of the Hill) 

Pick 3.4 | David Gborie | Lola Bunny (Space Jam)

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | David Gborie | Jamika (Bébé's Kids) 

Pick 4.2 | Sean Jordan | Scar (The Lion King) 

Pick 4.3 | Ian Karmel | Baloo (The Jungle Book) 

Pick 4.4 | Langston Kerman | Chel (The Road to El Dorado)

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | Langston Kerman | Mammy Two-Shoes (Tom and Jerry) 

Pick 5.2 | Ian Karmel | Esmeralda (The Hunchback of Notre Dame) 

Pick 5.3 | Sean Jordan | Wilma Flintstone (The Flintstones) 

Pick 5.4 | David Gborie | Gadget Hackwrench (Chip 'n Dale: Rescue Rangers)

Producer's Pick 

Isaac Lee | Kim Possible (Kim Possible)

Quotes From This Episode

• "She was having sex. I mean, life old. He saw it." — Ian Karmel (on Jessica Rabbit playing patty cake)
• "I knew she was committing crimes. I didn't care." — David Gborie (on Carmen San Diego)
• "You can't dry out a mango. That's life advice. Be a mango." — Ian Karmel
• "His nipples are way at the bottom of his pecks. That's where you want them." — David Gborie (on Li Shang)
• "I saw a woman who worked hard and who came home. He saw two things. And they weren't shoes." — Ian Karmel (on Langston's Mammy Two-Shoes pick)
• "There's a Gadget cult in Russia." — David Gborie

Episode [482]- Items From Seinfeld Episodes We Would Like To Have- March 12, 2026

The podcast that starts with a little bit of standup at the begining.

Participants

• Ian Karmel: recently went heavy at the gym

• Sean Jordan: Will float you a check, just don't cash it till Monday

• David Gborie: Not really into Entourage

• Jay Larson: Seinfeld is his number one show of all time, collects golf balls, built an 8-foot Lego table for his kids

Draft Order

This week's winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors is David.

This week's draft is a serpentine draft. David sets the order as David, Jay, Ian, Sean.

Serpentine Explanation

"It's like blowing your nose one nostril, then the other."

Round 1

Pick 1.1 | David Gborie | The Bro (the Mansière)

Pick 1.2 | Jay Larson | The Soup Nazi's Recipes

Pick 1.3 | Ian Karmel | George Costanza's Erotic Photograph

Pick 1.4 | Sean Jordan | The Festivus Pole

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | Sean Jordan | The Puffy Shirt

Pick 2.2 | Ian Karmel | Fusilli Jerry

Pick 2.3 | Jay Larson | The Titleist Golf Ball from the Whale's Blowhole

Pick 2.4 | David Gborie | The Moops Trivial Pursuit Card

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | David Gborie | John Voigt's Pencil (from the LeBaron)

Pick 3.2 | Jay Larson | Jerry's Parents' Condo at Del Boca Vista

Pick 3.3 | Ian Karmel | The Merv Griffin Show Set

Pick 3.4 | Sean Jordan | Jerry's Bad Check (from Little Jerry Seinfeld)

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | Sean Jordan | The Junior Mint

Pick 4.2 | Ian Karmel | The Technicolor Dream Coat

Pick 4.3 | Jay Larson | The Book Astonishing Tales of the Sea

Pick 4.4 | David Gborie | The Assman License Plate

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | David Gborie | Elaine's Christmas Card (with the Nipple)

Pick 5.2 | Jay Larson | Centrax Stock

Pick 5.3 | Ian Karmel | The Marble Rye

Pick 5.4 | Sean Jordan | George's Wallet

Producer Pick:

Pick 5.5 | Isaac Lee | George's Massive Gore-Tex Coat

Quotes From This Episode

• "The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to return soup to a deli." — Ian Karmel

• "Stew shot first." — Jay Larson

• "I'm the Assman." — David Gborie

Episode [479] – Mom Jams-- February 19, 2026

The episode that called their moms.

The playlist: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLtZEfNrZaL_iNRiAHZ9ZzSF-mJJllUTUs&si=qspXYKUv0qyjSjJ5

Participants

Ian Karmel – Host. Former skeptic of Bruno Mars.

Sean Jordan – His mom loves hot wet men.

David Gborie – Chronicler of men-ain’t-shit anthems.

Jason Concepcion – Bringing his short set to New Orleans

Draft Order

Rock, Paper, Scissors Winner: Sean Jordan, with a natural victory

Serpentine Description:

Like if you are tossing and turning in bed

Draft Order:

Sean

David

Jason

Ian

Round 1

1.1 | Sean Jordan | “Crazy Bitch” – Buckcherry

1.2 | David Gborie | “Tyrone” – Erykah Badu

1.3 | Jason Concepcion | “Uptown Funk” – Mark Ronson ft. Bruno Mars

1.4 | Ian Karmel | “So Far Away” – Carole King

Round 2

2.1 | Ian | “Nick of Time” – Bonnie Raitt

2.2 | Jason | “American Pie” – Don McLean

2.3 | David | “Straight Up” – Paula Abdul

2.4 | Sean | “I Still Believe” – Tim Cappello (The Lost Boys)

Round 3

3.1 | Sean | “More Than Words” – Extreme

3.2 | David | “I Will Survive” – Gloria Gaynor

3.3 | Jason | “Don’t Go Breaking My Heart” – Elton John & Kiki Dee

3.4 | Ian | “Fire and Rain” – James Taylor

Round 4

4.1 | Ian | “Killing Me Softly” – Roberta Flack

4.2 | Jason | “Smooth” – Santana ft. Rob Thomas

4.3 | David | “Like a Prayer” – Madonna

4.4 | Sean | “High Enough” – Damn Yankees

Round 5

5.1 | Sean | “Any Man of Mine” – Shania Twain

5.2 | David | “Not Gon’ Cry” – Mary J. Blige

5.3 | Jason | “Waterfalls” – TLC

5.4 | Ian | “I Want to Come Over” – Melissa Etheridge

Producer Pick

Isaac | “In the Sanctuary” – Kurt Carr

Donnie Babylon (Zach Harper) | Sweet Dreams by …, When Doves Cry by Prince, Total Eclipse of the Heart

Notable Quotes

“Lake moms.” — Sean

“Men really ain’t shit.” — David

“Was he busted?” — Group discussion re: Elton John

“She dances like her feet hurt a little bit.” — On Mary J. Blige

"I've got money, means you don’t have money"— David Gborie

"We would’ve gotten James Taylor live in Turkey."— Ian Karmel

Episode [478] Things You Call Someone When You Forget Their Name- February 12, 2026

The episode that is getting into the short set game

Participants

Ian Karmel: has seersucker

Sean Jordan: one of the only ethical pimps

David Gborie: came prepared to draft deli meat

Jamal Johnson: still on east coast time, not accepted by a lesbian run basketball group

Draft Order

This week’s winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors is David Gborie.

This week’s draft is a serpentine draft
Like pressure washing a driveway back and forth

Order:
David
Jamal
Ian
Sean

Round 1

Pick 1.1 | David Gborie | Big Dog
Pick 1.2 | Jamal Johnson | Bro
Pick 1.3 | Ian Karmel | Man
Pick 1.4 | Sean Jordan | Dude

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | Sean Jordan | Playboy
Pick 2.2 | Ian Karmel | Buddy
Pick 2.3 | Jamal Johnson | Baby
Pick 2.4 | David Gborie | Pal

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | David Gborie | Brody
Pick 3.2 | Jamal Johnson | Slim
Pick 3.3 | Ian Karmel | Chief
Pick 3.4 | Sean Jordan | Son

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | Sean Jordan | Trouble
Pick 4.2 | Ian Karmel | My Friend
Pick 4.3 | Jamal Johnson | Hey
Pick 4.4 | David Gborie | Boss

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | David Gborie | Haus
Pick 5.2 | Sean Jordan | Big Time
Pick 5.3 | Jamal Johnson | My Guy
Pick 5.4 | Sean Jordan | Dog

Producer Pick

Isaac Lee | Darling

Quotes From This Episode

“Boobs is not the same as penis.” — David Gborie

“Bro can be affectionate or it can start a fight.” — Jamal Johnson

Episode [368]- 2023 Pop Culture Draft-- January 4, 2024

The podcast that has showed great restraint and waited until pretty much the end of the year.

Participants

• Ian Karmel: recording this on December 29th, saw his last serious movie consideration 36 hours ago, pre-order T-Shirt Swim Club
• Sean Jordan: opening for the Sklar Brothers tonight at Healing Comedy Club, smash that subscribe button on YouTube
• David Gborie: heading to Snow Jam in Sioux Falls, was at the Denver Nuggets parade, getting a Red Bull
• Alison Herman: TV critic at Variety, responsible for everything on their 100 Greatest TV Shows list she agrees with, exclusively a Hailey Bieber strawberry glazed donut aficionado

Draft Order This week's winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors is Alison, scissors against two rocks — an unnatural victory. Alison sets the order based on the layout of faces on her Zoom screen. As Sean explains the serpentine draft: "It's like putting up Christmas lights. Back and forth." The order is Alison, David, Ian, Sean.

Round 1

Pick 1.1 | Alison Herman | Barbenheimer 

Pick 1.2 | David Gborie | The Taylor Swift Eras Tour (and accompanying film) 

Pick 1.3 | Ian Karmel | Succession (Final Season) 

Pick 1.4 | Sean Jordan | Jury Duty

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | Sean Jordan | John Wick: Chapter 4 

Pick 2.2 | Ian Karmel | The Bear (Season 2) 

Pick 2.3 | David Gborie | Bottoms 

Pick 2.4 | Alison Herman | Killers of the Flower Moon

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | Alison Herman | The Scandoval (Vanderpump Rules) 

Pick 3.2 | Ian Karmel | Ariana DeBose's BAFTA Rap 

Pick 3.3 | David Gborie | The Grimace Shake 

Pick 3.4 | Sean Jordan | The Mischief Big Red Boots

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | Sean Jordan | The Fall of the House of Usher 

Pick 4.2 | Ian Karmel | The Holdovers 

Pick 4.3 | David Gborie | The Denver Nuggets NBA Championship 

Pick 4.4 | Alison Herman | May December

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | Alison Herman | The WGA/SAG-AFTRA Strikes (and their resolution) 

Pick 5.2 | Ian Karmel | Olivia Rodrigo (GUTS) 

Pick 5.3 | David Gborie | The Arrest in the Murder of Tupac Shakur 

Pick 5.4 | Sean Jordan | Nate Bargatze Hosting SNL

Producer's Pick Isaac Lee | Ted Lasso (Season 3)

Honorable Mentions Beyoncé's Renaissance Tour; Stop Making Sense reissue; LeBron's scoring record; Draymond Green; New Jeans; Beef; Reservation Dogs; The Last of Us; Past Lives; Zone of Interest; Scavenger's Reign; Young Fathers album; Barry (series finale); The Late Late Show (series finale)

Quotes From This Episode

• "I felt like Homer Simpson eating the donuts." — Ian Karmel (on the overstuffed year in pop culture)
• "Picasso could have heard Aerosmith." — Sean Jordan
• "This is my Watergate." — Alison Herman's boss (on the Scandoval)
• "Stop putting hot people in weird stuff." — Ian Karmel (on Wonka)
• "It's good. We did a job." — David Gborie (doing his Nikola Jokić impression)
• "Angela Bassett did the thing. Viola Davis, my woman king!" — Ian Karmel (doing his Ariana DeBose impression)

Episode [367]- Food That Looks Better Than It Tastes-- December 28, 2023

The podcast that forgot he wasn't yelling welcome at the top of podcasts anymore and did it again anyway.

Participants

• Ian Karmel: had a literary erection the entire time he was writing his book, taking it to City Winery locations across the northeast
• Sean Jordan: possibly saw the Bloods at the Clackamas Town Center
• David Gborie: dreams about McDoubles, has been burned by swordfish four or five times now
• Brad Williams: gets fooled by bacon-wrapped hot dogs every time

Draft Order This week's winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors is Sean, scissors against two papers — a natural victory.

Serpentine explanation:

 "It's like that game, shoot the duck. You know, at the fair, and it goes across and then you shoot it, and it stops for a second, it turns around. And then it stops and it goes back — it just goes back and forth."

Draft Order:

1.  David 
2. Sean 
3. Brad  
4. Ian

---

Round 1

Pick 1.1 | David Gborie | McDonald's Quarter Pounder 

Pick 1.2 | Sean Jordan | Peeps 

Pick 1.3 | Brad Williams | Fajitas 

Pick 1.4 | Ian Karmel | Red Delicious Apple

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | Ian Karmel | Thanksgiving Turkey 

Pick 2.2 | Brad Williams | Turkey Leg at the Renaissance Fair 

Pick 2.3 | Sean Jordan | Baklava 

Pick 2.4 | David Gborie | Swordfish

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | David Gborie | Jell-O Salad 

Pick 3.2 | Sean Jordan | Runts 

Pick 3.3 | Brad Williams | Grapefruit 

Pick 3.4 | Ian Karmel | Cakes That Look Like Stuff (Fondant Cakes)

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | Ian Karmel | Star Fruit 

Pick 4.2 | Brad Williams | Bananas Foster 

Pick 4.3 | Sean Jordan | Sushi 

Pick 4.4 | David Gborie | Zucchini Bread

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | David Gborie | Vienna Sausages 

Pick 5.2 | Sean Jordan | TGI Friday's Frozen Buffalo Wings 

Pick 5.3 | Brad Williams | Bacon-Wrapped Hot Dog (Outside L.A. Stadiums) 

Pick 5.4 | Ian Karmel | Turkish Delight

Producer's Pick Isaac Lee | Eggs Benedict

---

Quotes From This Episode

• "It looks like the platonic ideal of a burger. It looks like what they're eating in Riverdale." — David Gborie (on the Quarter Pounder)
• "It looks like a wizard would give it to you before an important quest." — Ian Karmel (on star fruit)
• "Sushi looks like Chris Hemsworth to me. Tastes like Steve Buscemi." — Sean Jordan

Episode [366] - Candy Bars - December 21, 2023

credit: u/AdSpare2727

 The episode that has a hard out

Participants

Ian Karmel: Might have to go crazy here

Sean Jordan: In a basement somewhere cooking up blackmarket Crunch bars

David Gborie: Is a triangle offense guy

Roy Wood Jr.: Used to sell chips

Serpentine Explanation

A three-man weave (Given by David)

Draft Order

David Gborie paper against two scissors

sets the draft order as:

David

Sean

Roy 

Ian

Round 1

Pick 1.1 | David Gborie | Almond Joy

Pick 1.2 | Sean Jordan | Snickers

Pick 1.3 | Roy Wood Jr | Twix

Pick 1.4 | Ian Karmel | Take 5

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | Ian Karmel | Butterfinger

Pick 2.2 | Roy Wood Jr | 100 Grand Bar 

Pick 2.3 | Sean Jordan | Caramelo

Pick 2.4 | David Gborie | Nestle Crunch

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | David Gborie | Hershey’s Cookies & Cream

Pick 3.2 | Sean Jordan | Toblerone 

Pick 3.3 | Roy Wood Jr | White Chocolate Kit Kat

Pick 3.4 | Ian Karmel | Tony’s Chocolonely 

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | Ian Karmel | Andes Mint 

Pick 4.2 | Roy Wood Jr | Baby Ruth 

Pick 4.3 | Sean Jordan | Salted Nut Roll 

Pick 4.4 | David Gborie | Whatchamacallit

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | David Gborie | Reese’s Fast Break 

Pick 5.2 | Sean Jordan | Twin Bing

Pick 5.3 | Roy Wood Jr | Milky Way

Pick 5.4 | Ian Karmel | Heath Bar

Producer’s Pick 

Isaac Lee | 3 Musketeers 

Honorable Mention

Zero Bar, Reese’s Peanut Butter Cups;