Episode [483]- Mythical Creatures Draft- March 19, 2026

The podcast that still has pneumonia.

Participants

• Ian Karmel: spilled club soda on his laptop on a flight, 530 pages into Lonesome Dove, Dana got him an Omega Speedmaster for Hanukkah
• Sean Jordan: on Comics Unleashed with Shane Torres at some point, almost done with his second book of the year, had a virgin strawberry Moscow mule at the club brunch
• David Gborie: Don't Tell special out, Comics Unleashed coming, went to a baby's brunch club in Riverside, currently borrowing Shaka Saman's enormous laptop
• Troy Walker: writer for Jimmy Kimmel Live, debut comedy album Esquire is out now, went to law school, passed the bar, never practiced, drives a black Honda

Draft Order This week's winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors is Sean, rock against two scissors. 

Serptine Explaination:  "It's like shingling a roof. You start at the bottom so they layer over and the rain doesn't get into the crib." 

Draft Order:  Sean, David, Troy, Ian.

Round 1

Pick 1.1 | Sean Jordan | Unicorn 

Pick 1.2 | David Gborie | Leprechaun 

Pick 1.3 | Troy Walker | Dragon 

Pick 1.4 | Ian Karmel | Mermaid

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | Ian Karmel | Babe the Big Blue Ox 

Pick 2.2 | Troy Walker | Genie 

Pick 2.3 | David Gborie | Vampire 

Pick 2.4 | Sean Jordan | Centaur

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | Sean Jordan | Minotaur 

Pick 3.2 | David Gborie | Yeti/Abominable Snowman 

Pick 3.3 | Troy Walker | The Boogeyman 

Pick 3.4 | Ian Karmel | Golem

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | Ian Karmel | Cerberus 

Pick 4.2 | Troy Walker | Anansi the Spider 

Pick 4.3 | David Gborie | Loch Ness Monster 

Pick 4.4 | Sean Jordan | Medusa

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | Sean Jordan | Phoenix 

Pick 5.2 | David Gborie | Werewolf 

Pick 5.3 | Troy Walker | Griffin 

Pick 5.4 | Ian Karmel | Cthulhu

Producer's Pick Isaac Lee | Pegasus

Honorable Mentions Siren; Succubus; Troll; Gnome; Leviathan; Cyclops; Hydra; Sphinx; La Llorona; Chupacabra; Jackalope; Giant; Ogre; Kraken

Quotes From This Episode

• "I think a unicorn is as plausible as a giraffe." — Sean Jordan
• "Clarence fucked a manatee. And by the time the other guys got off the ship, he was already around town spreading a different story." — Ian Karmel
• "A bowl is a male cow by an asshole." — Sean Jordan (on minotaurs)
• "I got the genie that gave me money, the dragon, and now if that ain't enough for you, I got my boogeyman on the ground." — Troy Walker
• "I wish for you to not know how to read but still go to coffee shops and read every day." — David Gborie (on Sean)
• "It's like 90% just having a friend. You don't have a friend who gets too drunk once a month?" — David Gborie (on werewolves)

Episode [482]- Items From Seinfeld Episodes We Would Like To Have- March 12, 2026

The podcast that starts with a little bit of standup at the begining.

Participants

• Ian Karmel: recently went heavy at the gym

• Sean Jordan: Will float you a check, just don't cash it till Monday

• David Gborie: Not really into Entourage

• Jay Larson: Seinfeld is his number one show of all time, collects golf balls, built an 8-foot Lego table for his kids

Draft Order

This week's winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors is David.

This week's draft is a serpentine draft. David sets the order as David, Jay, Ian, Sean.

Serpentine Explanation

"It's like blowing your nose one nostril, then the other."

Round 1

Pick 1.1 | David Gborie | The Bro (the Mansière)

Pick 1.2 | Jay Larson | The Soup Nazi's Recipes

Pick 1.3 | Ian Karmel | George Costanza's Erotic Photograph

Pick 1.4 | Sean Jordan | The Festivus Pole

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | Sean Jordan | The Puffy Shirt

Pick 2.2 | Ian Karmel | Fusilli Jerry

Pick 2.3 | Jay Larson | The Titleist Golf Ball from the Whale's Blowhole

Pick 2.4 | David Gborie | The Moops Trivial Pursuit Card

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | David Gborie | John Voigt's Pencil (from the LeBaron)

Pick 3.2 | Jay Larson | Jerry's Parents' Condo at Del Boca Vista

Pick 3.3 | Ian Karmel | The Merv Griffin Show Set

Pick 3.4 | Sean Jordan | Jerry's Bad Check (from Little Jerry Seinfeld)

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | Sean Jordan | The Junior Mint

Pick 4.2 | Ian Karmel | The Technicolor Dream Coat

Pick 4.3 | Jay Larson | The Book Astonishing Tales of the Sea

Pick 4.4 | David Gborie | The Assman License Plate

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | David Gborie | Elaine's Christmas Card (with the Nipple)

Pick 5.2 | Jay Larson | Centrax Stock

Pick 5.3 | Ian Karmel | The Marble Rye

Pick 5.4 | Sean Jordan | George's Wallet

Producer Pick:

Pick 5.5 | Isaac Lee | George's Massive Gore-Tex Coat

Quotes From This Episode

• "The sea was angry that day, my friends. Like an old man trying to return soup to a deli." — Ian Karmel

• "Stew shot first." — Jay Larson

• "I'm the Assman." — David Gborie