Thursday, June 4, 2026

Episode [494]- Movies to Remake, Muppet Style - June 4, 2026

"It's like there's one main human and then a lot of Muppets in it."

Participants

  • Ian Karmel: just got done hosting Fox World Cup postgame, treadmill runner doing two and a half miles without stopping, lifelong Muppet Christmas Carol devotee, has strong opinions about Good Night Moon ("it stinks")
  • Sean Jordan: Aladdin Theater Portland September 26th for the AFE 10-year anniversary show, headlining Motor City Comedy Festival September 16th, watched all three extended edition Lord of the Rings on a cruise ship in a windowless room
  • David Gborie: getting married this summer, 70-something million views on his Don't Tell special, new to driving and already doing California stops

Draft Order
David wins Rock, Paper, Scissors. 

Serpentine Explanation:  It's like hip-hop horray, hey, hoe. 



 David sets the order as David, Ian, Sean.


Round 1

Pick 1.1 | David Gborie | Training Day (Denzel as himself, everyone else Muppets)
Pick 1.2 | Ian Karmel | Space Jam (Michael Jordan as himself, Looney Tunes swapped for Muppets)
Pick 1.3 | Sean Jordan | The Matrix (Keanu Reeves as Neo, Kermit as Morpheus, everyone else Muppets)

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | Sean Jordan | Rocky IV (Rocky as a Muppet, Ivan Drago as the human)
Pick 2.2 | Ian Karmel | The Princess Bride (Princess Buttercup as the lone human, everyone else Muppets)
Pick 2.3 | David Gborie | The Master (Joaquin Phoenix as himself, Philip Seymour Hoffman and everyone else as Muppets)

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | David Gborie | A League of Their Own (Tom Hanks as himself, everyone else Muppets including two Miss Piggys as Dottie and Kit)
Pick 3.2 | Ian Karmel | Die Hard (Bruce Willis as John McClane, terrorist Muppets, Animal doing the cocaine)
Pick 3.3 | Sean Jordan | Titanic (Jack and Rose as humans, Billy Zane as a tiny Muppet husband, all the Irish steerage Muppets dancing below deck)

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | Sean Jordan | The Lord of the Rings: The Return of the King (Viggo Mortensen as Aragorn, everyone else Muppets including Army of the Dead Muppets and Uruk-hai Muppets)
Pick 4.2 | Ian Karmel | Home Alone 2: Lost in New York (Kevin as the lone human, Wet Bandits as Muppets, Muppet Tim Curry, Muppet Donald Trump)
Pick 4.3 | David Gborie | Talladega Nights (Will Ferrell as himself, Sacha Baron Cohen's character as a Muppet, John C. Riley as a Muppet)

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | David Gborie | Paid in Full (Wood Harris as himself, Cameron as a Muppet)
Pick 5.2 | Ian Karmel | Singin' in the Rain (Gene Kelly as himself, everyone else Muppets)
Pick 5.3 | Sean Jordan | Tombstone (Val Kilmer as Doc Holliday, everyone else Muppets including six Muppets standing in the woods)

Producer's Pick
Isaac Lee | Fast Five (Dwayne Johnson as Luke Hobbs hunting down a crew of Muppets, Vin Diesel as a Muppet)


Quotes From This Episode

  • "I wanted to separate the whites in this room. That's what happened." -- Isaac Lee
  • "Just a tense game of Muppet poker. They can't say 'shit-pushed.' It has to be something else because it's the Muppets." -- David Gborie
  • "When Morpheus is like, 'These machines!' it's just a tiny Muppet and then a bunch of little raver Muppets all sweating." -- Sean Jordan
  • "You can't see any of our beloved Muppets get shot in the head." -- Ian Karmel
  • "Doc was the most interesting part of the movie. Everyone else can kind of go and do a Muppet." -- Sean Jordan
  • "When they're having that gigantic rave and all the Muppets are there -- I'd be tight." -- Sean Jordan

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