Episode [363] - Historical Figures on Instagram - November 30, 2023

credit: AdSpare2727

The episode that loves you, could kiss you

Participants

Ian Karmel: His bar mitzvah was not a Hand Job City, it was a Magic the Gathering

Sean Jordan: Laura and Max left town and he got pinkeye, or vice versa

David Gborie: The guy figuring it out

Blair Socci: Is having 90s Diet Hot Mom Stockholm Syndrome

  

Serpentine Explanation

When your dog is in the backyard sniffing around for a place to poop. 

Draft Order

Sean Jordan - natural victory, scissors against two papers

Sean Jordan sets the draft order as:

Sean

Blair

David

Ian 

Round 1

Pick 1.1 | Sean Jordan | The Colosseum 

Pick 1.2 | Blair Socci | Napoleon Bonaparte

Pick 1.3 | David Gborie | Jesus 

Pick 1.4 | Ian Karmel | Mansa Musa 

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | Ian Karmel with an on-mic assist from Dana Schwartz | Marie Antoinette

Pick 2.2 | David Gborie | Grigori Rasputin

Pick 2.3 | Blair Socci | Anne Boleyn 

Pick 2.4 | Sean Jordan | Doc Holliday (Ian: “We need to get you some new guys”)

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | Sean Jordan | Marilyn Monroe 

Pick 3.2 | Blair Socci | Andre the Giant 

Pick 3.3 | David Gborie | Benjamin Franklin 

Pick 3.4 | Ian Karmel | George Herman “Babe” Ruth 

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | Ian Karmel | King Ludwig II of Bavaria, “The Swan King”  

Pick 4.2 | David Gborie | Jackie “Moms” Mabley

Pick 4.3 | Blair Socci | Pocahontas 

Pick 4.4 | Sean Jordan | Leonardo da Vinci 

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | Sean Jordan | Al Capone 

Pick 5.2 | Blair Socci | Albert Einstein 

Pick 5.3 | David Gborie | Siddhartha Gautama aka the Buddha 

Pick 5.4 | Ian Karmel | Jack Johnson, the "Galveston Giant"

Producer’s Pick 

Isaac K. “RLPD” Lee | William Shakespeare 

Honorable Mentions

Lord Byron, Zelda Fitzgerald, Michelangelo, Emily Dickinson, Sylvia Plath, Hilda Doolittle, Howard Huges, Marquis de Sade, Blackbeard, Tupac Shakur

Quotes From This Episode

“That’s a Big Dog guarantee.” -David Gborie

“Pussy doesn’t come out of red leather, I’ll tell you that” - Blair Socci

“I always wanted to be in that room.” -Sean Jordan / “Well why don’t you draft the room next?” -Ian Karmel

“He was a little mad, Bavari interesting.” -Sean Jordan

“Two things are infinite: the universe and human stupidity. And I’m not sure about the universe, so use a rubber LOL.” -Blair Socci

Notable Show Canon Events

Blair names Isaac the “Red Leather Pussy Destroyer” [1:16:54] after hearing about his new Alfa Romeo. 

First (or second?) show reference to Shane Torres accidentally publishing all of his Twitter drafts at once

Episode [362] – Sodas- November 23, 2023

Episode Tagline

Hey, if you were looking for a podcast, this is one of them.

Participants

Ian Karmel: One of the great male white over-30 feminists. Closeted Protestant.

Sean Jordan: Swapping gum in CCD, eats hotdogs for breakfast.

David Gborie: Cherry Coke traditionalist. Cream soda connoisseur.

Katie Nolan: Fresca evangelist. Apple soda truther.

Draft Order

This week’s Rock, Paper, Scissors resulted in a three-way tie.

Ian had previously declared that in the event of a tie, he would choose the draft order. In a stunning turn of events, Ian picked the draft order.

Serpentine explanation:
Ian's: Bouncing back and forth between the right side of Ian’s brain and the left side of his brain.

Sean's: Like running with Bo Jackson in Tecmo Bowl.

Draft order:

Katie
David
Sean
Ian

Round 1

Pick 1.1 | Katie Nolan | Dr Pepper
Pick 1.2 | David Gborie | Cherry Coke
Pick 1.3 | Sean Jordan | Mountain Dew
Pick 1.4 | Ian Karmel | Diet Coke

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | Ian Karmel | 7-Up
Pick 2.2 | Sean Jordan | Barq’s Root Beer
Pick 2.3 | David Gborie | IBC Cream Soda
Pick 2.4 | Katie Nolan | Sunkist Orange

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | Katie Nolan | Fresca
Pick 3.2 | David Gborie | Vernor's Ginger Ale
Pick 3.3 | Sean Jordan | Welch’s Grape Soda
Pick 3.4 | Ian Karmel | Squirt

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | Ian Karmel | Dr Brown’s Dark Cherry
Pick 4.2 | Sean Jordan | Pineapple Jarritos
Pick 4.3 | David Gborie | Cactus Cooler
Pick 4.4 | Katie Nolan | Coca-Cola

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | Katie Nolan | Manzanita Sol
Pick 5.2 | David Gborie | Jolly Rancher Watermelon Soda
Pick 5.3 | Sean Jordan | Mountain Dew Baja Blast
Pick 5.4 | Ian Karmel | Cheerwine

Notable Quotes

“Diet Cody.” — Sean Jordan

“We’re talking about CCD and you’re talking about ABC (already been chewed).” — Katie Nolan

“I am one of the great male white over-30 feminists.” — Ian Karmel

“Not every fart is a turd secret.” — Katie Nolan

“If you leave a Mountain Dew out for too long, the Evanescence is gone.” — Sean Jordan

“I heard it’s just pee (refering to Squirt the soda).” — Katie Nolan 

Episode [361] - Cereal Mascots - November 16, 2023

 Credit: AdSpare2727

The episode that always remembers Rule 34.

Participants

Ian Karmel: Invented being a Portlander who makes fun of L.A.

Sean Jordan: Happy-cries a lot

David Gborie: Had to pee in his alley last night

Katie Nolan: Coffee does nothing to her

  

Serpentine Explanation

Like using a leaf blower (Sean’s a Ryobi man himself, but David thinks those are “homeowners’ tools”)

Draft Order

David Gborie - unnatural victory, rock over two papers

David Gborie sets the draft order as:

David

Katie

Sean 

Ian  

Round 1

Pick 1.1 | David Gborie | Tony the Tiger, Frosted Flakes

Pick 1.2 | Katie Nolan | Fred Flintstone, Pebbles

Pick 1.3 | Sean Jordan | Lucky the Leprechaun, Lucky Charms

Pick 1.4 | Ian Karmel | Captain Horatio Magellan Crunch, Cap’n Crunch

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | Ian Karmel | Sugar Bear, Sugar/Golden Crisps 

Pick 2.2 | Sean Jordan | Snap Crackle and Pop, Rice Krispies

Pick 2.3 | Katie Nolan | Dig ‘Em the Frog, Honey Smacks

Pick 2.4 | David Gborie | Buzz Bee, Honey Nut Cheerios

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | David Gborie | Toucan Sam, Froot Loops 

Pick 3.2 | Katie Nolan | Count Chocula 

Pick 3.3 | Sean Jordan | Trix Rabbit, Trix

Pick 3.4 | Ian Karmel | Franken Berry 

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | Ian Karmel | The Kashi Good Friends

Pick 4.2 | Sean Jordan | Big Yella, Corn Pops

Pick 4.3 | Katie Nolan | Raisin Bran Sun 

Pick 4.4 | David Gborie | Cookie Crook & Cookie Cop/Officer Crumb, Cookie Crisp 

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | David Gborie | The New Day (Kofi Kingston, Xavier Woods, Big E.),  Booty O’s

Pick 5.2 | Katie Nolan | Chef Wendell, Cinnamon Toast Crunch (Rest In Power)   

Pick 5.3 | Sean Jordan | Michael Jeffrey Jordan, Wheaties 

Pick 5.4 | Ian Karmel | unnamed animated boxing glove, Grape Nuts

Producer’s Pick 

Isaac K. Lee | Sonny the Cuckoo Bird, Cocoa Puffs

Honorable Mentions

Honey Bunches of Oats factory lady, Waffle Crisp grandma

Quotes From This Episode

“We all know that we devolve to our lowest selves in the hotel.” -David Gborie

“The Soviet threat loomed over a giant portion of his life and you’re going to deny him an 11:00pm Coca-Cola?” -Ian Karmel

“It’s hard to find erotic content about Lucky the Leprechaun and I actually think that reflects positively on us as a society. I’m proud of us for that.” -Katie Nolan

“Aren’t all chaps assless?” -David Gborie

***************************

Episode [360] Words that Start with the Letter Q November 9, 2023

credit: unscholarly

The episode that gathered here today not to talk about Christopher Maloney butt.

Episode Context

Jeopardy-themed intro.

Initially introduced as the “Beginning of Nolvember”
Later clarified as the second installment

Participants

Ian Karmel: has eaten a Beggin’ Strip before

Katie Nolan: just appeared on Jeopardy! and tied after miscalculating Final Jeopardy

David Gborie: thought Titanic was mid — even when it first came out

Sean Jordan: 30 minutes into Citizen Kane on a treadmill
Also dressed like an adorable little fall pumpkin

Serpentine Explanation:

Like frosting a toaster strudel

Draft Order

This week’s winner of Rock, Paper, Scissors: Sean Jordan
Order:
Sean
Katie
David
Ian

Round 1

Pick 1.1 | Sean Jordan | Quibble
Pick 1.2 | Katie Nolan | Queue
Pick 1.3 | David Gborie | Quip
Pick 1.4 | Ian Karmel | Quintessential

Round 2

Pick 2.1 | Ian Karmel | Quiche
Pick 2.2 | David Gborie | Quinceañera
Pick 2.3 | Katie Nolan | Quesadilla
Pick 2.4 | Sean Jordan | Qi

Round 3

Pick 3.1 | Sean Jordan | Quaff
Pick 3.2 | Katie Nolan | Quixotic
Pick 3.3 | David Gborie | Quarrelsome
Pick 3.4 | Ian Karmel | Quack

Round 4

Pick 4.1 | Ian Karmel | QWERTY
Pick 4.2 | David Gborie | Quell
Pick 4.3 | Katie Nolan | Quash
Pick 4.4 | Sean Jordan | Q-Tip

Round 5

Pick 5.1 | Sean Jordan | Qdoba
Pick 5.2 | Katie Nolan | Quince
Pick 5.3 | David Gborie | Quandary
Pick 5.4 | Ian Karmel | Q*bert

Producer Pick

Isaac Lee | Quagmire

Quotes From This Episode

“On the first and the fifteenth we were a toaster strudel house.”—Sean Jordan

“A quick word from our sponsors while we explain to Katie why David is wearing a hat that says ‘Race Wars 2023.’” – Ian Karmel

“We’re drafting words that start with the letter Q. Things just got more competitive.” – Ian Karmel

“As an amateur doctor, I would say yes.” – David Gborie

“I don’t care if you pooped - you gotta fill the hour.”—David Gborie

“Bury me juicy.” — David Gborie

“Now quash is a wetter quiche.”—Ian Karmel